I must leave and live a better life

It sucks, it feels like am moving anti-clockwise,
when you think you are making progress, you counter check only to realize someone is busy trailing your efforts.
You want the best for your self, ayour family but that cannot be achieved coz they made it their business to discourage and hurt you.
At times wisdom tells you to listen to your heart very keenly, it tells you to stop being naive,
To look at the bigger picture, i must put this to an end
I need to stand up for myself and say no to being the other option.
i can do better than this
i believe i can still find a partner who would be caring for me and the kids
Things happen so fast,
I don't want to wake up and find myself wasted and lost many years yet i would have found happiness if i did trusted my instincts.
I don't know about many things but i do know i don't like the life am living now.
I don't like being lied to
Emotional abuse isn't any better than physical abuse, all is abuse
I don't like being taken for granted, cos i treat people with care and concern as they deserve
i deserve the same
Why do i let myself got through this again and again?
Is it because am naive?
is it because am a blind lover?
why do i keep falling for the same lies again and again?
what is wrong with me?
What will my children think of when i explain to them?
will be a fool or a role model..?
I must leave and live a better life