When you decide to forgive, its a gift to you. you need to realize you have opened a new chapter of your life. You will at times re track to what had happened when the same person wrongs you.
We have all been wronged and betrayed by the people we love
Most of us we are still carrying the baggage of that pain
We analyse it like it did happen few days ago
You may have been betrayed by your sibling,
You may still be in denial that you are no longer friends
Your best friend took off with your husband
You parent may have denied you a decent upbringing affecting your self-esteem
Your relationship with your mama may be stale
Your spouse may have betrayed you
You are struggling with forgiveness because you are in denial. Accepting a loved one broke their trust to you can be detrimental. It does haunt all of us.
Deciding not forgive feels better, it feels justified. But we need to face our fears, you need to figure out what forgiveness will mean to you. Are you afraid of letting go because it would make you helpless or are you afraid you would be hurt again?
You need to forgive to be able to move on, it doesn't really matter
You need to be able to forgive for you to trust again. If the offender shows remorse and is ready to go it again,give them a second chance, you would live to tell a story.
You must not be selfish, you too at one time were forgiven.. do you remember how it made you feel to be forgiven? there is power in forgiveness.
Forgiveness gives you the power and energy to move on. You still can end the relationship and still love and trust again. You don't want to carry grudges with you, they will weigh you down in the new relationships. You need to get better
Always remember it wasn't your fault they did hurt you, it was a choice they made anyway, you are a consequence of their decisions. You should not let it depress you, face it like an eagle, fly away from the carcass (mess)
I admit it. thinking about it, i too do wish it was just a dream. Everyday the feeling of pain demises, i know i will look back and be thankful i gave it a second chance. I was living in a world where people make no mistakes. I was the person who would never ever forgive infidelity i told my mum that often. I never gave people a chance to do mistakes. Am a perfectionist all round.
This experience has taught me patience, long suffering. It has taken me to the real world where wrongs are made rights.