Saturday, 20 October 2012

My Experience Part two

Today i feel so awful with myself.
I have let people treat me so bad for so long and i cant forgive myself.
I feel so mad with me, i should have said no
i should have let my gut rule
now am heartbroken
the world is spinning hatred on my side
am desperate
coz the one i love loves someone else and aint treating me good
i know i deserve better
what will i tell my children?
that mama moved out of dad because?
am at crossroads

Deep down i know,
someone out there can treat me like a queen
i think part of me believes he will change
that one day he will recognize i exist
but that isn't happening and will never happen
i sure need to move on and
live large
my prince charming will find me someday
my little angels will understand why mummy had to move on
daddy doesn't make her happy
we are in this world to be happy

Yester night he slept over at his friends
it was such a relief
every passing day
i want less of him
less and less
the scale gets lower everyday
Although he says he will change
His actions speak a different language altogether

It will be a surprise to many
coz we look like the most perfect couple
but we are the most distant

Why would any one cheat on a spouse
and still go home to them
and pretend that all is well
and even shamelessly say 'i love you'

I think he smells a rotten rat
today he sent a lovely msg
but i didn't reply
i don't feel him
I don't wanna live a lie anymore
am gonna go and find my own world
am gonna create a safer haven for me
 I cant go to my mum with my marriage woes
she too is struggling with her own

my therapy is blogging
am better off that way as for now

No comments:

Post a Comment