Friday, 19 October 2012

My Experience

We met in the year 2007 almost immediately after a breakup from my ex.Although he says he was my rebound guy, i truly love him till now.

I knew he was the one when i set my eyes on him. It was all sparkling and romance was wild and fun until i conceived and gave birth.

He took his time (2008-2010) to have fun with the gals and sleep around. All this time he kept it as a secret and would act its all fine and well until Sept this year (2012) when i got to know all truth.

I got it from the steamy texts they exchanged with the gals at that time. Of course i felt great i had confirmed my fears and worse i had been betrayed, big time

He was shocked at first, i had unveiled a dark secret but he came seeking forgiveness.
He gave me all reasons to why he did what he did, they seem reasonable but deep down i feel he made a choice to cheat on me. there was another option, of staying faithful and picking a bone with me on the issues he felt required attention.

He opted for the easier and painful route, the shortcut.

If you check on my earlier updates(, they translate to a person in pain
one who is deprived off  attention and Love.

One who is fed up. I had this nagging feeling that all wasn't well. I tried to calm myself but the gut feeling got stronger and real, so i decided to do my homework.

It was an year of agony and despair. a very anxious year indeed.
someone said no matter the length of the rope it sure has an end. Every secret will see the light of the day.
 Friends, don't hurt a loved one, don't cheat on them, be a lady or a gentleman and call the relationship off.

That shows respect for yourself, and your partner

If we had just started dating, i would have dropped him like he was hot but its tricky we have two gorgeous children together.

Forgiveness is a commitment, its a lifestyle.
It relieves past pain, comforts a broken heart and heals a wounded soul.
It brings hope.

Its easier to hold a grudge than to forgive and forget. playing a victim feels safer and justified but its a journey that is full of agony and anger. Resentments become a daily life. to be free i need to break this yoke.

I will not let him define who i am, i may be hurting yes but i must find a way to get out of this. Wish it was a day's kind of work. He hurt me yesterday but i don't have to let if affect my today and tomorrow  i must work on my healing all ways possible

I too have done things that did hurt, i need forgiveness but that doesnt mean i continue in this turmoil. forgiveness is freedom

to be continued

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